"Mean"

This song is a great response to abuse. We will most likely never know why our abusers are so twisted but we are free of their abuse and it's true...all they'll ever be is mean.

Don Miller had some insightful words Thursday about hurt, pain and the forgiveness process:

... Go through the stages of grief. Let the offense shock you, then let it completely hurt you. Don’t avoid the pain. Sit with it and feel it no matter how unbearable it is. Please know it will end in time. It will get 2% easier every day. Just feel it like a toothache and soon enough it will transition into something bearable.

Then let the offense make you angry. Don’t lash our or you’ll be guilty yourself. Talk about it with trusted friends but confess you’re angry and your emotions aren’t under control. And don’t feel bad for being angry. The last thing you need is anger and shame. Just punch a pillow and make it through. The anger, like the pain, will lessen over time...
Happy Memorial Day my friends!

Foolish Parade

As I noted in a previous post a friend from the cult escaped by eloping with her boyfriend.

About two weeks later word came that she and her new husband "went back". It was disheartening to say the least.

Now for the rest of the post you have to imagine the "What the...." bubbles (as Lewis at Commandments of Men so adroitly phrased it) above the heads of non-cult members...

illustration by zappa blamma in flickr

On the Sunday after the sad news came (Mother's Day no less) a family member of mine arrived home to find the whole kit and caboodle of remaining cult members parading the "re-claimed" couple outside their(my relative's) house.

I am sure it was labeled as 'Proclaiming God's Victory to the Wicked' and 'Marching to Show God's Strength'...
I, however, prefer Big Bang's theoretical physicist Sheldon Cooper's explanation:



Tsk, tsk, my dear cult pastor, it just ain't kosher to treat humans as "positional goods"...even if you are full of poofy-haired villainy.

A dear friend (also an ex-member of said cult) e-mailed me this letter in response to the ridiculous parade:

Hi!!!!I heard about "THE PARADE OF IDIOTS" in front of your [relatives] house...
My response was "WHAT? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"


I have heard [girl's relative] is saying, "THERE IS A LEAK [in the cult] AND HE IS GOING TO FIND IT"...how funny! "Buddy, It's right under your nose. Your "DNA" is the same."

Regarding the "Parade":Only a very low class of people would stoop that low. Too bad they left before the town officials arrived.I'm so glad they are aware of what type of idiots they really are..."THE COMPOUND" is a big joke with all of them and that the leader is just a "mentally challenged old woman" [think Dick Solomon from Third Rock From the Sun mixed with Gaddafi...transform them/it into a woman and... voila! My ex-cult pastor extraordinaire].


I just want you to know that [another dear friend] and I are very proud of you for just trying to help someone that has been classified as having suicidal tendencies. Isn't "LIFE BETTER THAN DEATH"...If you threaten someone to action did you REALLY WIN???? 


PEOPLE, PEOPLE, YOU NEED TO GET A LIFE.


We have heard all that has been said about all of us and WE JUST LAUGH. See, we know the REAL STORY!!! The REAL TRUTH!!!

They do NOT scare us with their little parades.


Actually most people on the street thought that the Jehovah's Witnesses had mounted an assault on San Angela Drive and closed their blinds and locked their doors. TOO FUNNY!!!!


WE ALL JUST SIT BACK AND SMILE.


I give you my permission to post this to anyone and everyone, AJ

I am still laughing about the Jehovah's Witnesses' mounted assault...HOOO!

Suggested reading:

Life Happens While You Are Doing Something Else

by Don Miller
...yeah like mounting foolish parades of positional goods....

And She Walked Back In....But I Hold Onto Hope

photo by jc_syzygy in flickr

As it was my greatest joy to say on the April 29th post that a friend had walked away from the cult it is to my deep sorrow to say that I received news that she went back to the cult.

I hold out hope though. She's had a taste of freedom.

I hold out hope because I left the cult behind.

More than that I have a Father who excels at the impossible.

Please remember her in your prayers.

In light of these events I recommend Lewis Well's post of  the only advice I know to give

And on the lighter side...I am "borrowing" this advice from Eric Pazdziora who borrowed it from RT@ Liturgy: "Don't join dangerous cults -- Practice safe sects!"

SNORT!

Forgive me my nonsense....Post for #Restoreunity

  My post for #restoreunity

Forgive me my nonsense, as I also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense.

~Robert Frost ~

Living in a cult taught me something of unity. A common need to placate a serially angry leader and a perpetually raging God.

God had to be fed constant streams of ceaseless good works and His 'Mouthpiece' perpetual praise for speaking "his" word.

It took team work to keep God and his mouthpiece placated. A complicated system of double speak, ulcers, and covering for family and friends.

We were in God's refining process...or so we were told. This unified us to bear the refining process one more day.

We were told that we must crucify the flesh by sacrificing personal opinions and restraint in questioning the 'Mouthpiece's' decisions.

I finally found this unity to be utter nonsense.

It wasn't unity at all but rather mindless response to the torturous conditioning of an abuser.

Unity is when a Catholic and Protestant can spiritedly debate at work the role of Mary in the present day church and ride home together in peace.
 
Unity I have found to be in the accepting smile of my Protestant friends on Wednesday night Bible study as I say I didn't hear the pastor Sunday...I wasn't in their church.

I discovered unity in the in the understanding eyes of a co-worker when I shared my story...turns out she was in an abusive church too.

Unity stretched over five states as the call went from person to person: "She's out of the cult! They eloped!"

Unity, I believe, is to be found in the shared sufferings of the Body of Christ. Maybe suffering keeps me from considering my nonsense as sense.

Would you unite with me in prayer that an abuser will recognize her nonsense for what it is?

Ease the suffering of others by donating here.