"But it comes down to this: If I am the one in control, then I am in a prison of my own making.
I have come to this place in my life: I either want to let go of my life and let God be in total control, or I want to be in total control myself. Splitting the duties just doesn’t work. “Balance” is not the way. (That is another essay for another day. Just know that the “B” word is not welcome with me.) I can try to earn my way into God’s good graces by doing all of the good and prudent things that Christians are supposed to do, or I can have God’s good Grace simply by receiving it."
“Since when have you not had permission to live any way you like? Even in the prison of legalism, you are free to act and think and do anything you want. It just comes heaped with guilt. And guilt is not a way God speaks to us. Guilt comes from doing something you think you are not supposed to do, whether that goes against tradition or against what you have always been told is wrong or it goes against what religious teachers tell you is wrong. Guilt is based in fear, and fear is not of God. Fear is based on the thought of punishment. And if we are really and truly totally forgiven, then there is no more punishment ahead.” ~Monkshank Redemption~ Internet Monk
"Grace gives you your dignity back. Your dignity is rooted in the identity of Jesus. Jesus came FIRST. He’s not a plan B. He’s not an afterthought. He’s not a result of God saying, ‘Fine. I’ll do this.’ God wanted to ‘do this’. So He created us.
When we sin, we have all of hell trying to get us to believe that we haveruined everything. However, sin illuminates the need for Jesus. Hell wants you to believe that you’re only good enough if you’re good enough. God is trying to get you to see that He created you to need Him, therefore, without grace you are never going to be good enough. It’s not about your failure, it’s about the way this whole thin g is set up. We’re useless without Him. Would you want it any other way?" ~getting your dignity back~ Serena Woods
"It’s so easy to miss this. Sometimes we even seem to want to miss this. Maybe we prefer things to be more complicated. Maybe we want to feel like we get some reward for our good works. Maybe we want to feel superior to all those sinners who don’t know how to lead a holy life. Maybe we think it isn’t fair that sinners get the same deal as righteous people. But then that’s probably how we felt about salvation before we first received Christ. That’s how we feel when we don’t like the Gospel." ~Just As You Received Christ...~ Eric Pazdziora
I am going to start this post by apologizing:This post is the apex of four thought processes train wrecking. Please excuse the messy thought and sentence structure as well as gratuitous allusions.
To start or rather to understand any of this rambling please watch the following clip. The section of 1:30-2:15 is relevant to my point:
The fact is I don’t live in Lake Male Superior. (Though a disturbing amount of men do- see here)
I live in Lake Me Superior (Just call me pond “J”)
Who came up with all the rules in Lake Me Superior? I did. I was influenced by parents, Bible reading and cult living (HA! You thought I was going to say good living didn’t you? Oh come on-just admit it :)
The point is: I made up my rules based on views handed to me by fallible parents and a skewed understanding of God)
Now no diving to conclusions. You might get hurt. I haven’t added a diving board to Lake Me.
There are moral absolutes. Ten of ‘em in Exodus. I haven't kept all of them all of the time-have you?
There AREN’T, however, me absolutes. Me absolutes used to say that all women who wore pants were sinning. Add a little makeup to that if you will you ungodly huzzy!
My absolute authority on this: A cult pastor. (Funny that it was okay though to steal people’s life savings. Just don’t wear pants and make up while you do it!)
My point: I am fallible. I do not make the rules. I am not (SNICKER!) a judgment stone. I list more toward the natural disaster zone.
People sit on their throne of judgement with their scepter of wisdom petting their bobble head lion of Judah and consider the shortcomings of others in order to determine their eternal position. The disease of the religious insider is the complacent familiarity with the profound evidence, turning the sovereign power of God (which should scare the skin off of us) into pathetic beliefs based on ‘vain imaginings, foolish reasoning, and stupid speculations.’ They would much rather serve a god who sits on their mantel, over seeing their living room lives with stoic approval. They don’t hear God speaking any more, their ‘minds have been darkened’, so they feel compelled to speak for Him.
I can quote because I am guilty. I have been a god with stoic approval for rule-abiders. As long as they wore skirts.
No more stoic allowed here and I am crushing my bobble-head doll.
The fact is that worshipping at the temple of my goodness (usefulness, godliness) is so much easier than working on my relationship with God
Relationships are hard. They are great one morning and boom the next morning it is a cat of a different color.
There is hurt, pain, and misunderstanding. And tomorrow there will just be more of the same.
Relationships require staying. If you stay through tomorrow's pain there might be next week's reconciliation.
Joy and laughter.
So here cometh the apex of my thought train wreck:
I realized I am not going to change the world with my blog. I am not even going to alert people to a destructive church in Dade City.
More often than not I find myself praying for the twisted person that abused my spirituality for her own gain. I pray she find peace.
I still struggle. I still have days of anger and nights of repenting for hatred.
And I think of it again, how it really is, the very name of God, YHWH, “is the sound of breathing.
The holiest name in the world, the Name of Creator, is the sound of your own breathing.”
I will breathe my prayers for healing and hope.
I am not going to read my google analytics and tie my self-worth to it. Thanks Jon!
This is all part of me walking away from the pain of the Cult Next Door (Experience not blog).
And totally unrelated topic :)...I heard in various places that Rob Bell is writing that the whole world is going to heaven and that Ann Voskamp has a book about what?!?! (See Elizabeth Esther's humorous explanation.)
Their influence has lead commenter KatR to hilarious determination:
I’m going to write a book where I claim that God lets non-Christians into heaven. And then has metaphorical sex with them. It’s going to be called “Love Wins A Thousand Gifts”. Please make sure that John Piper knows immediately, cause it’s all about the benjamins, baby.
SNICKER!!!! Thank you Elizabeth and KatR for putting things into perspective.
Might I humbly say that we should rejoice that a sister in Christ has allowed others to worship with her?
Or that a pastor is willing to explore John 3:16? Why does hell have to be the sell point? 16-18"This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was.He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person's failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him. (John 3:16, The Message)
Ride on Rob Bell and Ann Voskamp.
Very respectfully: Maybe some other folks need to come out of Lake {ME} Superior?
I am putting my accusatory finger to rest and sing along with Anna Nalick:
1-6 God's Message came to me: "Son of man, prophesy against the shepherd-leaders of Israel. Yes, prophesy! Tell those shepherds, 'God, the Master, says: Doom to you shepherds of Israel, feeding your own mouths! Aren't shepherds supposed to feed sheep? You drink the milk, you make clothes from the wool, you roast the lambs, but you don't feed the sheep. You don't build up the weak ones, don't heal the sick, don't doctor the injured, don't go after the strays, don't look for the lost. You bully and badger them. And now they're scattered every which way because there was no shepherd—scattered and easy pickings for wolves and coyotes. Scattered—my sheep!—exposed and vulnerable across mountains and hills. My sheep scattered all over the world, and no one out looking for them! 7-9 "'Therefore, shepherds, listen to the Message of God: As sure as I am the living God—Decree of God, the Master—because my sheep have been turned into mere prey, into easy meals for wolves because you shepherds ignored them and only fed yourselves, listen to what God has to say: 10 "'Watch out! I'm coming down on the shepherds and taking my sheep back. They're fired as shepherds of my sheep. No more shepherds who just feed themselves! I'll rescue my sheep from their greed. They're not going to feed off my sheep any longer! 11-16 "'God, the Master, says: From now on, I myself am the shepherd. I'm going looking for them. As shepherds go after their flocks when they get scattered, I'm going after my sheep. I'll rescue them from all the places they've been scattered to in the storms. I'll bring them back from foreign peoples, gather them from foreign countries, and bring them back to their home country. I'll feed them on the mountains of Israel, along the streams, among their own people. I'll lead them into lush pasture so they can roam the mountain pastures of Israel, graze at leisure, feed in the rich pastures on the mountains of Israel. And I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep. I myself will make sure they get plenty of rest. I'll go after the lost, I'll collect the strays, I'll doctor the injured, I'll build up the weak ones and oversee the strong ones so they're not exploited. 17-19 "'And as for you, my dear flock, I'm stepping in and judging between one sheep and another, between rams and goats. Aren't you satisfied to feed in good pasture without taking over the whole place? Can't you be satisfied to drink from the clear stream without muddying the water with your feet? Why do the rest of my sheep have to make do with grass that's trampled down and water that's been muddied? 20-22 "'Therefore, God, the Master, says: I myself am stepping in and making things right between the plump sheep and the skinny sheep. Because you forced your way with shoulder and rump and butted at all the weaker animals with your horns till you scattered them all over the hills, I'll come in and save my dear flock, no longer let them be pushed around. I'll step in and set things right between one sheep and another. 23-24 "'I'll appoint one shepherd over them all: my servant David. He'll feed them. He'll be their shepherd. And I, God, will be their God. My servant David will be their prince. I, God, have spoken. 25-27 "'I'll make a covenant of peace with them. I'll banish fierce animals from the country so the sheep can live safely in the wilderness and sleep in the forest. I'll make them and everything around my hill a blessing. I'll send down plenty of rain in season—showers of blessing! The trees in the orchards will bear fruit, the ground will produce, they'll feel content and safe on their land, and they'll realize that I am God when I break them out of their slavery and rescue them from their slave masters. 28-29 "'No longer will they be exploited by outsiders and ravaged by fierce beasts. They'll live safe and sound, fearless and free. I'll give them rich gardens, lavish in vegetables—no more living half-starved, no longer taunted by outsiders. (Ezekiel 34, The Message)
