Breaking The Chains: A New Book On Overcoming False Gospel

I can't wait to read this book!
Breaking The Chains chronicles the mental, spiritual, and emotional captivity of a life lived in a perfectionist church who believes their organization and their organization alone will be accepted into heaven.
Click here to learn more.

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"I Was Merely A Pawn"

Reading Not of My Making by Margaret W. Jones has been a liberating and affirming experience for me. As I devoured the book on my lunch hour, I would highlight the phrases and experiences that resonated most with my own struggle.

"I was merely a pawn in the drama"
Margaret was overwhelmed often with the thought that it was her fault the abusive situation existed- she must be broken and unwanted because the church relationships she was participating in were breaking and turning toxic.
However, after the emotional rubble cleared, she came to this understanding:

...the extremity of the attack made me realize it wasn't I who was at fault. Rather, all religious communities, regardless of denomination, at some point in their history have engaged in abusive behavior. I was merely a pawn in the drama.

It wasn't me that was broken- my spiritual abuser's actions show that she has chosen a twisted and dangerous path- I suffered from those actions at one time, but no longer does her venom touch me.
Her actions no longer control me. I choose to speak out, because as Margaret said:

The telling has given me some distance and clarity...By breaking the silence, I am triumphant.

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Not Of My Making: Saturday And Sunday Blogstop By Author Margaret W. Jones, Ph.D

Author Margret Jones will be stopping by The Cult Next Door this Saturday and Sunday to answer readers' questions and discuss her book, Not Of My Making:Bullying, Scapegoating and Misconduct in Churches.
Reading of Margaret's traumatic childhood ,painful experiences in religion, and her subsequent journey out of the toxic impact of others' behavior encouraged me in my own journey out of spiritual abuse.
Though we don't share similarities in the events of our spiritual abuse, I share many of Margaret's questions and reactions.
In the chapter, Descent Into White Space, Margaret describes her struggle to comprehend the fact that God, Omniscient and Omnipresent, was present when she was molested as a child. She says:

I didn't have any answer for where God was when children were being raped or abused. If evil was the work of the devil, why didn't God...stop him?

I have often turned this thought over and over in my mind. Why does God allow such incredible atrocities to happen? Especially when the perpetrators are "God's mouthpiece".
She goes on to ask:

How could God intervene without us losing our sense of self? Is evil the price we pay for free will?

God did honor us with the right to choose. He doesn't even shove salvation down our throats, unlike many evangelical Christians.
Max Lucado comments in his book He Chose The Nails that we cannot choose our families or our appearance- but God honored us with an incredible choice: where to choose eternity.
She comes to an astute understanding when she says:

Uncle Frank's sins left him more disconnected from God than I was.

I remembered that my spiritual abuser was to be pitied- how terrible it must be to be so separated from God by one's actions!
Leave your questions for Margret at toxicsheepnomore@yahoo.com. and visit Saturday and Sunday to see her replies.

House of Cards from DeTox Church Group blog

This amazing post can be found on the DeTox Church Group blog at:http://detoxchurchgroup.blogspot.com/2008/10/house-of-cards.html

One of the hardest parts about leaving a controlling environment is watching the entity still continue on in their quest for dominion. They continue to exist, for one thing, which is bad enough because we now know that they are Dominionists who believe that they are going to inherit the hard-earned money of those in the world who have no clue that this is why they working so hard for their money. If the organization itself no longer existed maybe they'd figure out they aren't here to take over the world any time soon and their building could be used for something else like a charter school or a post office.
If the Dominionists were only delusional and not so harmful to others, then I'd have no problem with them staying in business. But when they continue to exert their control using spiritual manipulation over the fine people that remain, then it's hard to keep quiet.
Some of those fine people we randomly run into at the store. I must say, some of them can be really nice, politely acting like nothing ever happened even though we can still feel the pity through their kindness since in their minds we are the crazy ones. There are others, however, that treat us like we are the untouchables, no longer acceptable, since we deserted their camp. You know the type, they either pretend they don’t see you (which actually works out best) or, if they deign to speak, it’s with a hint of condescension and distain. They are judgmental and patronizing, with a smile, in the most aggravating way. These are the types you would leave town because of to start a new life in a new city. It’s actually a clue to us that the worship-fest for the pastor family is still going on over there which means not much has changed.
If nothing has changed, why does God still allow it to still continue? Lucky for them, His forbearance has depths we can’t even fathom. I readily admit he’s been extremely patient with those of us who have left. He doesn't rush us to hurry and get over it, giving us time to heal, as he guides us toward more and more truth that helps us understand what we endured when we were there. So, God, not being a respecter of persons, must be holding out till he absolutely has to do something to stop the bad behavior over there.
Waiting for God to deal with former world is a bit like waiting to see if the bail outs help the American Economy. I guess only time will tell.
Posted by NoJoke at 10/23/2008 10:39:00 AM