Wednesday, April 6, 2011

"It is an ever-fixed mark..."

Couple by peanutbutterbandit in Etsy

I had to stop reading Commandments of Men at work. Twice I have had to dive into the bathroom while no one was looking to dry my tears.

In the last few weeks Lewis has been sharing his experience of growing in love with a beautiful woman and then losing her to Patriarchy (almost literally) at the alter.

I have no personal experience with the Patriarchal movement but the cult I was enslaved in reads hellishly close to the madness. I understand the paralyzing indecision his bride must have experienced as she struggled between "God's will for her life" as dictated by her family and the beautiful love and life that her groom offered.

Even though I know what her choice will be I find myself hoping, HOPING that the ending has changed. That she will choose the absolute love of her groom. And wiping tears once more as I know she will not.

Maybe that is how God Himself feels when we choose religion or works over His divine and unending love.
Thank you, Lewis, for your willingness to bare your heart-break so that others may be made aware of dangerous beliefs and practices. I pray that the God of all comfort stays close by your side.

"I found her innocence beautiful. Also, it became very clear to me that she didn't care who I was, who I knew, what I did for a living, or how many (ignorant) people would want my autograph. I can't put into words how attracted to her that made me, as that was something I'd always wanted...
"...On the day she was to fly here (for our soon upcoming ceremony), her last words to me were "Love you. See you soon." Two hours later, her grandfather called me and said, "She's not coming, and doing so on MY strong advice." He proceeded to say several extremely hurtful, intrusive, meddlesome, and ignorant things, telling me the various ways I was responsible for the situation. It was a good old fashioned Christian "eff U" coming from a good old fashioned Christian a-hole. He made it clear that if I made the venture across the continent to get her, "You'll be met with unfriendly faces if you do it!" Unless they'd hired some serious muscle, I wasn't worried about facing the whole lot of those fools. The reason I didn't go was that I knew it'd be pointless. They'd have her hidden somewhere. And, sure enough, a week later, I was able to locate her (and I won't disclose how). She was in another state, holed up with another group of patriarchal imbiblers and religious fools, being reindoctrinated but convinced, by them, that she was "waiting to hear from God about the situation."

Lewis, your love for your lost bride is stunningly beautiful and I see in it shades of Christ's love for His church.

I wish I could quote this sonnet to the young lady:
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever love

God bless you, Lewis


Lewis said...

You're truly a kindred spirit, Julie, and you're appreciated.

The Cult Next Door said...

Thank you for sharing your heart with us, Lewis! Many, many blessings!

Incongruous Circumspection said...

You cry tears, I love and kick holes in the wall - and shed a tear or two. I grew up in this cow dung and finally ripped myself away from it when I was 19. I am still pressured to change by my old crowd, but they have nothing to fear - I am too free now. Its a pity to watch the clutches still hanging on in this generation. One day, it will stop, I hope.

The Cult Next Door said...

I do, too, Circumspection, hope that the clutches go away eventually. It is amazing what one human will do to another in the name of God.