My story: Can't you see I'm dying (Part 2 of life in a Dade City cult)

For Part 1 click here

Time elapsed, and the senior pastor found out that he was dying of cancer. He elected a young man to take the church- believing he was circumventing this woman 'youth' minister from taking power.

There are events and happenings, layers of story that would take me days and hours to recount. If I have the time, I will come back to this part of the story in the second section.

Suffice to say, the woman took control of the church.

The Manipulative Power of Peace: Guest Post by Lewis Wells

A month ago I discovered the blog Commandments of Men by blogger Lewis Wells. Lewis writes with passion of the danger of legalistic, human-powered religion. His personal loss at the hands of patriarchal control breaks my heart.

Thank you, Lewis, for speaking out against spiritual abuse.

Without further ado, Lewis' guest post:

Show of hands...


Who among you has based a decision solely on whether or not you had "peace" about it? (my hand is raised)

Shamed Conviction

This morning was rushed. I ironed my spouse’s shirt and then proceeded to my own outfit. As I ironed the black slacks, I noticed that the material ironed differently than the last time I had pressed them.

When I dressed I discovered why. They were a pair that was more form-fitting than I normally preferred. The choice was skip breakfast to iron the right pair or grab a sweater that covered my posterior.
I love breakfast so the sweater worked for me.

I arrived at work and set about my daily routine, careful to don my sweater when walking through the office.

Mid-morning I rushed to the powder room. While washing my hands, I saw, to my chagrin that I had arrived sans sweater. At that moment I thought, “I feel convicted about these pants.”

A light turned on in the recess of my brain. I didn’t feel convicted. I felt shamed.
Shame had been meticulously and lovingly hardwired into my psyche by an abusive pastor (my story) Shame was my abuser’s choice tool to keep me subjected.

Eugene Peterson explains it succinctly in the preface to Galatians:

“When men and women get their hands on religion, one of the first things they often do is turn it into an instrument for controlling others, either putting or keeping them “in their place”.

–The Message, Re-Mix-

I had not set out to wear pants that outlined my figure more clearly. I certainly had no intention of seducing someone with my less-than-svelte figure.

And yet, standing in the bathroom, I felt shamed.

I felt shame because I had been taught that clothes that don’t hide every outline of your body are evil. Those that wear them do so because they are focused on lust and what they can procure with their body.

Recognizing the feeling as shame and not as conviction, I set about re-wiring my brain. And for someone fed almost daily for two decades on shame and guilt it is no easy process.

I realize now that my abuser relished the effects that shame produce:

Shame drives you away from the reassuring knowledge that God loves you and has provided a covering for your sins.

Shame gifts you with an overwhelming need to do penance.

Shame chains you to the person that tells you they can sway an angry god to your favor.

My abuser profited royally from the shame she wreaked upon her congregation: she shamed into working in her cleaning business. She shamed into leaving actual family behind to choose her as ‘the true family of God’. She shamed till she caused a young man to choose death over life.
Shame is deadly, not godly.

One of my favorite blogs,My Teen Mania Experience said it best:

“Last time I checked, the only person who uses shame as a tool is the devil. Jesus came to set us free from shame.

The blogger goes on to describe his experience:

"Falling asleep in class isn't even a sin! No wonder interns despair so deeply when they commit an actual sin. If there is great shame in sleeping in class, there must be even greater shame in real sin. (Of course there is no mention about whether driving interns to exhaustion is sin.)”

(Click Shame on You to read full article.)

If someone is using shame to “save your soul” take my advice and run as far away from them as possible.

Further Reading:
Mice in Our Couches
How Does Jesus Love You

"Prayer" by the_spainard in photobucket

Light Always Wins

Once again it is my pleasure to have the guest poster, Witch's Slave No More, share his journey out of spiritual abuse. During these final days of being under her illusion, I felt as if I needed to buy time to prepare my heart to get rid of her. I felt then that my Bible studies had to go on every day in order to strengthen. Also, I had to slightly pretend that I cared about what she said and did, even though I knew these things were evil. The Lord had set a task on my heart and that task was to sit still and observe what she is TRULY like.

She would use phrases that no good person should use "I hate those people that....", "They are just so stupid....", "I would kill them if....", and then of course there are the usual profanities that shouldn't be said by anyone, especially in the context that she used them in and in front of children, the elderly. I realized that these things were so wrong and I prayed and studied for resolution and finally, God gave me the answer. The leap of faith that He wanted me to take was my first step and He filled my heart with His assurance that if I followed Him, He would stick with me and reward me with what I needed and wanted in my life.

Colossians 3:5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

Finding Colossians 3:5 was the green light that God gave me to break all ties with her. She told me that I was wasting my time with church and giving money to them that I could spend on our relationship (she meant on her). I fired volleys back at her "you just make the rules up as you go" and "you think that you are good, but your favorite word is 'hate'". We argued for about twenty minutes before I just got sick of it, hung up the phone, instantly changed my number with the phone company, changed the locks on my doors, and drove out of town to spend some "away time" with the family. My family was really supportive with the break up and they had a little party to celebrate my new independence.

I have to tell you, that the fight at the end wasn't nearly as difficult as I had anticipated, but I know that was because the Lord was there. He helped to keep me calm during the worst of it all. The hardest part was actually recognizing that I was being spiritually abused. The breaking up period took 6 months from the time I realized that she was using me and destroying my soul with witchcraft and deceit of multiple kinds.

The Lord laid rewards at my feet, He led me to my wife, a sweetheart that understands about spiritual abuse (we help each other a lot in that area). I am much more comfortable in life and do feel like I am free again, but often, God sets various reminders for me that I am NEVER to forget to help those that need help and to not slack off for too long.

I hope that I helped at least one person out there with my story, that is my goal, not too belittle my abuser, but to keep others from the same trap. I have reopened a lot of old wounds to relay my testimony for you, so now, I ANXIOUSLY await your questions so I might help try to help you recognize what you are going through and help you through these times.

I have gone through the Bible and chosen some very distinct messages which I hope to share with you to help you realize what those involved in spiritual abuse are going though and what we can do to help them.

Colossians 2:8 See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.

Psalm 124:6-8 Praise be to the Lord, who has not let us be torn by their teeth. Who have escaped like a bird out of the fowler's snare; the snare has been broken, and we have escaped. Our help is in the name of the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Galatians 6:1-5 Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something and he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to someone else, for each one should carry his own load.

Until then,
Witch's Slave No More

picture from photobucket in wonderfulgrace1225 account

A Gleam of Light: A Guest Post by Witch's Slave No More

The blogger, Witch's Slave No More, continues his story of a journey out of mind-control and manipulation in this second guest post. To read the first part of his story, click here.

You know, I had heard that even a single match lit in the darkest of caves can create a fantastic force of light that can be seen from hundreds of yards, even miles away.

When I started to read the Bible again, I could see that light, but it was not enough to make out that the light WAS the Lord Christ. The light was of Good origin, I knew this much, but it was not enough to say who was casting it and certainly not enough to fight off the evil that was subduing me.

She continued to try to sell me her lies, but I was only lending a deaf ear to what she had to say as I started my studies. Proverbs was my first book, and I loved it dearly. The wisdom is deep and so very simple to understand. I prayed for protection and read verses over and over again from the book of Psalms. As I continued to study, I noticed that certain things began to happen to my abuser. Over the next year, I saw the following changes in her: a spider bite from a brown recluse which resulted in the loss of a toe, a torn ACL (knee joint) which required surgery, contraction of diabetes and several diabetic seizures, multiple lice infestations, lupus, total decay in about 6 different teeth, severe bone density loss, more than I can actually name.

My God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. He is my refuge, my savior, the one who saves me from violence. -2 Samuel 22:3-

When the time felt right, I took my stand. I had my family praying for me and I was going to at least try for my freedom. I could hear the Lord pounding drums in my chest. She came to my door and I stood my ground, telling her that Witchcraft is wrong and I cited the scriptures that I knew...

God, you've walked out on your family Jacob because their world is full of hokey religion, Philistine witchcraft, and pagan hocus-pocus, a world rolling in wealth, Stuffed with things, no end to its machines and gadgets, And gods—gods of all sorts and sizes. These people make their own gods and worship what they make. A degenerate race, facedown in the gutter. Don't bother with them! They're not worth forgiving! -Isaiah 2:6-

But cowards, unbelievers, the corrupt, murderers, the immoral, those who practice witchcraft, idol worshipers, and all liars—their fate is in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death. -Rev 21:8-

She stood her ground by reiterating what she had said before about the Bible being fickle. When I asked her proof, she could not respond with anything besides cusswords. I had caught her off guard.

She had promised not to make me practice witchcraft again, but still, it wasn't over. I wanted these horrible games she was playing to be over and done with once and for all, but despite the wishes of my God, my family and myself, the war for my soul continued. However, getting her to stop was a step in the right direction, but I knew that if I didn't keep reading that Bible, her willpower would overthrow mine and she would once again command fully. At the time I felt like I had won a battle, but slowly witchcraft's principles gradually and subtly leaked from her. So I read,

Wake up! Rise to my defense! Take up my case, my God and my Lord. Declare me not guilty, O Lord my God, for you give justice. Don’t let my enemies laugh about me in my troubles. Don’t let them say, “Look, we got what we wanted! Now we will eat him alive! -Psalms 35:23-25-

I studied and started going to a non-denominational church. The preacher reminded me of the one I knew at that little Church of Christ where my spirituality was born. The community of church can give you something that no other group of people can: bravery, even in the midst of terrifying adversity. Since church provides friends that will listen and help, it was no wonder that she didn't want me going on a regular basis. In less than a month I was truly prepared to make that final step. Within that time, the Lord gave me the strength to study and prepare for perhaps the greatest spiritual battle of my life: to at last end my relationship with this witch and to save my soul...Until next time,

Witch's Slave No More

Alone In a Corner

It is my great privilege to have the blogger ‘Witch’s Slave No More’ post his experience on the Cult Next Door.

I met this wonderful man on e-harmony and soon realized that he did indeed understand what it was to have your trust in God crushed and your belief in human beings trampled.

I have been truly blessed to have a mate that not only listens sympathetically but also empathizes with his whole heart.

Truly this is the Lord’s doing and it is marvelous in my eyes.

I met this site's current head writer known as "Toxic Sheep No More" on eHarmony last year. One of the things that we quickly established was that we both were victims of spiritual abuse. She, however, has undergone a more classic case of cult abuse whereby a leader, of remarkable charisma, employs arsenals of altered scripture citing that runs inconsistently with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

My history of being spiritually abused comes from a place that is overlooked by most: I was the solitary victim.

After a painful and bitter divorce (which I am no longer bitter about), after a long and difficult battle with my desire to smoke tobacco and marijuana, and after a year solid of pure loneliness (lonely, as in not having even had a date of even just a PLATONIC nature), I met a woman who would take the next 3 and 1/2 years of my life and try to brainwash me into submission. I became a victim of a solitary cultist. You see, where a church cult targets a group of people, a solitary focuses on one victim. During this time, I was brainwashed out of my Fender bass guitar, several computer components, a car (which she traded in for $5,000) and what I estimate to be around $12,000 cash.

However, the money wasn't the worst part. I was conned out of my religion and convinced that faith was futile. At a very gradual rate, this person started to change my perception of God.

Let's start from the beginning. I was raised in a Church of Christ and was taught to love Jesus, Savior of all that put their faith in Him. My parents, as all good parents should do, encouraged me to grow my faith. For the first 3 years or so, they took me to church and I LOVED going to Sunday school, hearing about this "lamb of God", and hanging out with my church friends during service. Our pastor got very sick and my parents didn't like the new pastor so they stopped going and I had to as well. The new church they went to made me uncomfortable and I never quite found a church-home again like that little Church of Christ . Through my teenage years and my early 20's, I didn't fit in anywhere. In my mid-20's, for a short time, I found a Baptist preacher that really seemed to know what he was doing, but then my wife and I divorced and I had to move.

A year after the move, I met the woman that I will only refer to in pronouns. She began citing obscure Bible verses, ones that focuses on the wraith of God, instead of His love. For example, how God sent plagues onto Egypt , but she would conveniently leave out parts, saying that they were to be overlooked because they were a part of a different story. This didn't make sense to me, but she was someone who was willing to talk about God (even though she never listened or took my point of view into any consideration) and talking about God with someone, really felt good. She had an answer for everything, but nothing she said had any real basis of truth to it and after a while, I got sick of questioning what she thought was right. A lonely person like me, craving attention and a listening ear, anyone's ear, will listen to the silliest garbage and eventually accept the garbage as truth. After I stopped questioning her and started buying into her Biblical misdirection, she said that the Bible had no real basis for fact at all, since "it was written by man and it changed every couple of generations to keep up with the times." She had no real proof of this, of course, but she was still reeling me in, like a worm on a hook. I had started to believe that the Bible was pure lies. Then she started to tell me that the "real" god wants us to worship solstices and the equinox and light candles and chant and cast spells to "protect" others. It seemed far fetched, until I did it a few times and I invested a lot of good money for cheesy merchandise. Her next step was to tell me that there were two gods! One that was older than the God that I had believed in... that was pretty much a stumbling block on her part. I could start to see a little bit of light in the dark cavern that was my life and I started to pick the Bible back up again...

That story I will have to tell next time.
"Witch's Slave No More"