The Cult Next Door

Friday, October 22, 2010

Lift Up Your Face

Hazing: The Fraternity Tatics of Spiritual Abusers

In 1978, Alfred University student Chuck Stenzel decided to join the fraternity Klan Alpine. To become one of the 'brethren',Chuck was given a bottle of wine, pint of whiskey and six pack of beer, locked in the trunk of a car with other pledges, and left in nine degree temperature.When the alcohol was finished, the trunk would be opened.

When the trunk was opened, Chuck was unconscious. He died later that night.

The fraternity denied responsibility of his death.

His mother Eileen determined to find the truth. Klan Alpine members, however, were reluctant to speak out of the 'code of silence' employed by the fraternity.Overcoming members' reluctance to speak out, Eileen eventually pieced together the story of Chuck's last day and determined to fight the oppressive tactics of fraternity hazing.

As I read the story, I was shocked at the loyalty of the frat members. They would rather that an abusive system live on to kill someone else rather than speak the truth of Chuck's death. However, at this point, I had an "Eureka!" moment. Hadn't I myself been part and parcel of a group who employed abuse and mind-controlling techniques similar to those of a fraternity?Hadn't I myself protected a Dade City church 'fraternity' with years of silence?

Friday, October 15, 2010

My Two Cents

This is my two cents worth of great reading:

Obedience To Whom?

Blogger Serena Woods answers a reader's question about church authority

Ravens Story-Conclusion

Not for the faint of heart...I have linked the last portion of the young lady's story. Teen Mania is a so-called ministry in Texas that, according to multiple accounts, terrorizes and abuses its members all in the name of God.

A Handy Guide To Being Annoying On Twitter

Just plain funny from Elizabeth Esther

The Danger Of Projecting An Identity
Donald Miller says:

" ...projecting a righteous identity teaches people they will be safe as long as they are righteous which is a lie."

Wow. Just Wow. I think that might be quote for the month.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

It Wasn't Supposed To Be This Way

^19-21I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
   the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
   the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember,
   and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: (Lamentations 3:19-21, The Message)

At the library Thursday night I found a book by Kay Arthur entitled When the Hurt Runs Deep. No stranger to pain (her first husband was a suicide victim) Arthur titles her first chapter "It Wasn't Supposed to Be This Way".

Which coincidentally has been the title of my latest litany to God. From Monday on I have emphasized over and over to Him how the church is supposed to be the last place on earth that someone gets hurt. How that walking into a church shouldn't make me have panic attacks.

Dealing with resulting pain from other's choices isn't easy. Arthur doesn't hold any punches as she relates stories of a woman impregnated by her dad, a girl molested for eight years by her pastor father. Another mother of a suicide victim wrote:

Everyone said he was the strongest Christian they knew, so it is almost impossible to understand. my other child is...very ill. Why do these things happen? I had it all...now we are left with rubble. Does God care?

Arthur writes:

This woman's questions are ones we all wrestle with at times...Why us? Why now? Does God care?

A technique I tried (unsuccessfully) to deal with the pain and questions was to measure my pain against others, such as this breaved mother. "At least all my family made it out of the cult alive." The thought in itself is fine and true. I can be thankful that no family members were a suicide victim in the cult.

The thought in its completeness was this: "No family member lost their life to the cult. Therefore there are others who have greater losses than me and deserve the right to mourn and ask questions."

And the Pharisee me pops back into light: everything from pain to righteous acts are measured on a scale and I don't measure up.

This line of thinking was promoted by the pastor of the Dade City church. I was called in the office once and berated because I was worried about a family member that had a broken arm. I was told that there were members of the church suffering so much more (the members happened to be her 'special' 'family' members) and that they had the right to be worried about family circumstances. My pain didn't measure up. I didn't deserve to worry.

Just another of her devilishly brilliant tactics: If you take away the person's "right" to feel pain they never bother questioning God why the pain is there. Take God and the need or "right" to ask God questions out of the equation and who's left? The cult leader...standing where she always meant to stand: In God's place. The pain of life is too much to take by yourself and since you don't have the "right" to talk to God about it you would end up talking to her.

Wow! I just realized once again how incredibly twisted this woman was and unfortunately still is...she is a true witch!

So maybe that's the point of this portion of pain...I finally figured out that I have the "right" to talk to God about it. I'll tell Him again today how I am tired of the fall out from a sick, narcissistic woman's need for control. I'll ask again when He is going to stop her evilness. I'll beg Him to give me a day off from all the questions...a day to just be.

David had to understand. He talks about hiding in God's presence in Psalms 91...hiding from deadly traps and hidden arrows under God's arms. God tells him:

^14-16 "If you'll hold on to me for dear life," says God,
      "I'll get you out of any trouble.
   I'll give you the best of care
      if you'll only get to know and trust me.
   Call me and I'll answer, be at your side in bad times;
      I'll rescue you, then throw you a party.
   I'll give you a long life,
      give you a long drink of salvation!" (Psalm 91:14-16, The Message)

I'll keep a grip on hope. I have the right to communicate with a heavenly Father about the fall out. I don't know why everything is "this way". It wasn't supposed to be this way. But as Jeremiah said:

^22-24God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
   his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
   How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
   He's all I've got left.
^25-27God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
   to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
   quietly hope for help from God.
It's a good thing when you're young
   to stick it out through the hard times.
^28-30When life is heavy and hard to take,
   go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
   Wait for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
   The "worst" is never the worst. (Lamentations 3:22-30, The Message)

I'm sticking with God...I'll say it over and over.

^31-33Why? Because the Master won't ever
   walk out and fail to return.
If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
   His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
He takes no pleasure in making life hard,
   in throwing roadblocks in the way: (Lamentations 3:31-32, The Message)

I would remind the pastor of the Dade City church of the next verse:

^34-36Stomping down hard
   on luckless prisoners,
Refusing justice to victims
   in the court of High God,
Tampering with evidence—
   the Master does not approve of such things. (Lamentations 3:34-36, The Message)
photo by fortschreitend of Parkersburg tornado damage