Sunday, February 8, 2009

Stand Up or Sit Down?

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

~Winston Churchill

So how to decide between courageous standing or sitting in ongoing spiritual abuse?

In the post "Defeating the Piper's Call" I recounted the rebuff of a former friend when given a card; I am convinced my 'meddling' did more ill than good.

I, myself, spurned advances made by a dear aunt to maintain family bonds when she 'deserted' the 'holy and elect pastor'.

Any attempts to sway devoted cult followers seemingly adds fuel to their committed fire.

Is this then the answer? Sit down and listen till the fortunate wake to reason from their enchanted delusional sleep?

Is interfering with the cult devotee's progress to mental destruction comparable to freeing a butterfly prematurely from his confining cocoon? Will my attempts cripple rather than free the bound wings?

Or rather am I a coward, afraid to turn and face once again the old enemy?

King Baldwin in the movie Kingdom of Heaven states:

"You see, none of us chose our end really. A king may move a
man, a father may claim a son. But remember that, even when those who move you be kings or men of power, your soul is in your keeping alone. When you stand before God you cannot say "but I was told by
others to do thus" or that "virtue was not convenient at the time. This will not suffice. Remember that."'

Should the spiritual abuser be confronted another time? Once again, as with the deluded sheep, confrontations embolden and empower the abuser to new heights of control.

And seemingly the destructive cycle is strengthened rather the weakened with each attempted to impede it's power.

Any wisdom on the matter will be greatly appreciated. If you would rather respond in an e-mail than a comment, please contact me at


Anonymous said...

A very interesting topic and one which I have thought about, and dealt with alot in the last five years after leaving our old religious cult.

Here is a quote I found helpful...

"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

Epistemological referring to how you receive knowledge. It's been a great quote for me, since I have always believed that only God truly convince anyone of their need to leave an abusive group.

You can't argue with anyone who has switched off their brain, and the fact that you are out of the group is an immediate fear factor.

I have tried, I have blogged, I have talked til I am blue in the face, I have fantasized about how I would release them all from their self-imposed, and elder-imposed prisons, but ultimately, who am I to think that my shouting can make more of a difference than the still small voice of God.

Katherine Gunn said...

Hmm... yes. I have thought about it. I have been largely ignored by those I once thought were friends. And the desire to expose the pastor of this church for the fraud he is... but any attempt would be met with hostility. In fact, it is the classic tale of the Emperor's New Clothes. I want to cry, sometimes....

The Cult Next Door said...

I know- I think about the people still committed to this woman- while she steals them physically and spiritually blind- breaks my heart.